Tonight I took my first tentative Steps in 9 days...I made it back alive and I'm writing this so things are looking good. The problem that I found was that for the entire 3 miles I was fighting with myself in my head. The self talk went a bit like this;" Feeling good, steady , steady don't over do it ..... Am I breathing? Yeah things seem OK....Shit a little breathless... no its in my head... you are you're head you idiot... no really listen to me, I feel a little breathless.... Yeah OK your right not fantastic but moving and feel in control... how far do you reckon you've gone...800m ... oh boy this is gonna be a long run.... stay focused , you knew it would be a fuzzy start, always is after an injury and this is like an injury... Harden up!!!
OK here comes a hill now don't push it just get over it... not great but did not stop... up and over well done, .. Bugga still not comfortable in drawing a full breath , just does not feel right.. come on see it through."
At this point I had made it well past halfway and was on the second last climb of the run where I got half way up and had to back off: (the head talk continued)
"What are you doing soft ?#@$.. you don't stop on a hill... you do if you can't breath... yeah but you can breath...well it feels like I can't, no your right keep going up and over, don't let the sle ftalk defeat you... see you made it, piece of piss nearly home"
Got home and felt OK but nothing flash. I know that this will be a long journey and once I get my confidence back I'll be fine.....
He's back
3 miles 20minutes 22seconds.
Barrel on Wombats...
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